


I Never Knew I Needed

by KoolJack1



Series: Hannibal Kink Meme Prompt Fills [11]
Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Developing Relationship, Emotional, F/M, Fishing, Fluff, Friendship, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love, Overwhelemed, Romace, someone helped Will Graham
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-23 14:40:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/927700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoolJack1/pseuds/KoolJack1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written For The Prompt: <br/>Alana and Will are having sex and Will tells her to stop, maybe just with the words or maybe they have a safe word. But either way he tells her to stop and the aftermath of that, maybe some comfort?</p><p>http://hannibalkink.dreamwidth.org/2676.html?thread=4987764#cmt4987764</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've ever written that didn't have Hannibal as basically the main character (and there's no torture, wow). I haven't written something... Nice in a long time, so I saw this prompt and said "I'll have Alana help Will Graham." As much as I love the e darkness in this fandom, I thought I needed a little light. Expanded the prompt enough it had to break into two parts, it got away from me.

She never imagined someone like Will being persistent, but just like he always did; she found herself surprised.

After he'd kissed her, and she'd kindly told him they couldn't be together; he'd gone about bringing it up in a way that made it sound like he wasn't.

He'd resurface the memory for her as a joke, reminding her he wouldn't kiss her again until she said it was okay. Which also reminded her that he would kiss her again if she wanted.

He did it enough times that eventually the idea of kissing him had stuck with her always. Perhaps it really happened because she never wanted to say no in the first place, not that she'd ever admit that.

Their second kiss she'd initiated. Will had nearly had a melt down at a crime scene- bad enough that even Jack had agreed Will needed to go home. Will was so overwhelmed he nearly begged to stay, insisted he could help with this one.

She knew it was just a silent plea to not be sent home to be alone with himself.

She had tried to remind herself that she was not Will's psychiatrist, therefor she needed to let Hannibal deal with the situation.

That went both ways- not being his doctor meant she could go to his house and help him in ways Hannibal ethically could not. Which was how she wound up at his house, finding the door unlocked after she'd knocked and waited a few minutes.

She found him haunched over on the couch, his hands grasping at the sides of his head while his eyes stared into space seeing nothing. She was careful not to startle him, calling his name gently and crouching in his line of site before reaching a hand out to touch him.

His eyes fell on her, staring at her detached. "You need to bring yourself back, Will. Do you want me to call Hannibal?"

His shirt was wet with sweat- his hair damp on his head. "Will you stay with me?" His voice broke slightly and he cleared his throat and his eyes turned down to look at the floor between them. She stood slowly and sat on the couch, careful to swallow tears she felt brimming in her eyes for the man who was broken in a way that no one seemed to want to try to put together.

"Come here, Will," she whispered, reaching a hand out to touch his back. He jumped slightly at the contact, turning his head to look at her for the quickest second before his eyes fell away again. She guided his movements, following what her heart wanted to do for the first time since she could remember. His head came into her lap and rested on her leg- his body stiff with tension.

She soothed him, her fingers confidently brushing his scruffy cheek and damp hair. His eyes fluttered at the sensation, falling closed comfortably as each muscle relaxed one by one. Alana didn't need Will's empathy disorder to feel his desperation for human contact and fear of being alone- she felt him crushed by isolation he felt carried on for miles; an endless sea of waves. Her heart hurt when she made another pass down the side of his face and felt a fresh dampness from a shed tear on his cheek.

His dogs stared at her from across the room, and she smiled at them to silently praise them for being the living beings that comforted Will when no one else did. Her fingers felt him swallow ever once in awhile, and his warm, even breathing tickled her hands. She tried to commit every detail to memory- part of her always feeling like every time she saw Will would be the last time she did. This would be how she'd want to remember him; calm, comforted.

She would have stayed there forever, but his eyes fluttered open again; they'd lost their detachment and fear. His lips twitched slightly into a shy smile and she returned it. "This is...nice," he winced at how it sounded to his own ears, his eyes once again drifting away from her face in discomfort. "It's been a really long time," he added quietly, his eyes remaining focused on the ceiling as if to not see whatever it is he was afraid to see on her face. Disgust? Disapproval? Pity?

"That's okay, I liked it too," his eyebrows had pulled together in uncertainty and he looked up at her again. He held the eye contact this time for a full minute before slowly sitting up and turning towards her. She closed the gap this time, pressing their lips together firmly.

His breath hitched slightly, his hands coming up to gently cup her cheeks. It was the most tender gesture she'd ever felt from a man. She'd never felt a kiss so savored.

When their lips parted and their tongues tangled together, Will never once pushed for more. Ever the gentleman, his hands remained on her face and neck; though she was sure it had been so long since he'd had sex that he must have craved it.

That was when she decided kissing an unstable man was okay, having sex with one was not.

-

After that, she'd spent more time with him than ever. He'd invited her to stay for dinner, he'd cook something. Alana couldn't imagine Will cooked, but she was impressed when he made a fish that he caught himself. If any other man had asked her to dinner at his home, she'd think it was a ploy to get her into bed.

Not Will. He was more than eager to have her company. His nervous energy was endearing, and that was when she realized Will Graham wasn't just starved for affection- he was starved for attention.

He was starved for any sort of human interaction, starvation that he'd been in denial about.

She was more than happy to give him what he craved, realizing she too had denied herself real human interaction. She saw more of his condition, realizing in all the time she'd known him she'd never seen Will be himself. It took a few times of them seeing each other for him to realize she wasn't going to judge him or ignore him, but slowly the quiet, reserved, shy Will she'd always known melted away into a man that seemed far less unstable.

After he'd cooked the fish for them, they'd talked a while longer- conversations that had nothing to do with his breakdown or work. They discussed his fishing and current boat motor project along with her sister and how she always wanted to learn to fish.

That was when she came by next, he took her to his favorite fishing spot with his dogs and they drank beer and he taught her how to fish. She discovered his lighthearted side, witnessing the first real, genuine smile that lit up his entire face when she got a bite on her line that turned out to be the smallest fish she could imagine lived in the stream.

He caught a fish and cooked it for them again afterwards. When she went to leave she kissed him for the third time, almost reflexively. He froze in surprise, and she pulled back and smiled slightly. "What was that for?"

"For being you," and his pretty blueish green eyes nervously drifted to the floor, his lips turned up in a half smile.

-

They continued like that, not naming or speaking of whatever it was that had formed between them. Nearly every other day she'd be at his house. Sometimes they'd fish, or walk around in the fields with the dogs, he'd cook, she'd even sit on the floor with him while he explained what he was doing to the boat motor. On some rare occasions his head would find it's way into her lap and she'd pet him much like the first night while they talked quietly. She'd actually fished enough to start catching some rather nice sized fish, all of which he cooked for them. She found she enjoyed it, she could understand why he'd find it comforting.

Of course, there were many nights he'd be overwhelmed and jumpy, cases getting to him. She noticed he often ran a fever and sweated, which he'd awkwardly explained happened often when he was distressed. She'd insist he talk to Hannibal before she came over on those nights, he needed someone to care for him professionally as well as personally.

This went on for nearly four months, and they'd shared a dozen and a half kisses. Will seemed afraid to be physical, afraid that he'd cross the line of this more than friendship they'd established. She could tell by the way he looked at her, his eyes darting away to focus elsewhere. On one of the eleven walks they'd taken, not the first and not the last one; his hand had subtly brushed hers. Afraid to act but desperate, his hand flexed with the urge to hold hers.

He'd mentally debated with himself on how to just grab her hand and interlace their fingers while they walked and talked on all of their walks. He'd even come up with something to say if she'd gotten angry or pulled her hand away. He nearly had worked up the nerve to do it, but always had the sudden rush of paranoia that his hands would sweat and he'd subconsciously stick them in his pockets.

She broke past all his worries by just simply interlacing their fingers on one of the walks, never once breaking their pleasant conversation. He realized then he was trying to force it and over think it, instead of just doing it and letting the act be what it was.

His hand had tingled even after she'd let go.


	2. Chapter 2

Around the end of the fourth month he'd asked her for dinner, claiming to have caught the biggest fish in his life. His excitement alone had brought her there for dinner, and when he came to the door she was surprised to see he'd shaved. "You look nice."

He smiled slightly, touching his cheek, "You do too, like always." He'd even gotten better at giving her compliments; they'd started to flow without sounding awkward.

It was a big fish, and it tasted better than all the others. He explained how the dogs had barked at it when he'd finally reeled it in, and she laughed at his animation.

She looked across his table at him then, clean shaven with clear, bright eyes. Something had stirred inside her at the sight, realizing that when she'd told him no at first- she hadn't known the real Will Graham. Underneath the empathy and anxiety and nervous fluttering and instability was a man who had a heart full of love and a mind full of knowledge he wanted to share with someone. It saddened her she'd hurt him worse at first by denying him.

She offered to help clean up, insisting despite him telling her to make herself comfortable. He washed and she dried, until everything was clean and away. She watched him dry his hands and roll down his sleeves, and let herself feel without thinking. She pressed her whole body against him when she kissed him this time, feeling him stiffen against her when she pushed his back against the counter. She invaded his mouth this time, her hands coming up to tangle in his dark curls. She tightened her hold on them, trying to convey that it was okay for him to put his hands on her too. It took her removing his glasses and setting them on the counter behind him for him to raise his hands and touch them to her hips. It was feather light, despite the way she kissed him rougher than they ever had before.

He was unsure of himself, unable to progress things forward despite her compliance. She helped him along, reaching between them to unbutton his flannel shirt. That's when he broke their lips apart with a quiet gasp, "Alana, you don't...have to."

He gazed at her nervously, her fingers continuing to work their way down the shirt. She ignored him, pressing their lips together again feverishly. He responded in kind, his hands tightening on her waist as she got the final button undone and slipped the shirt from his arms to reveal a plain white undershirt. She didn't hesitate to slip her hand under the bottom-feeling his smooth muscles contract under her hand.

His hands moved slightly then, further up her sides and around to her back, pulling her closer before coming to rest on her lower back. Her lips left his to press against his cheek and then his jaw, and his neck; his hips pressing more firmly against hers. She moved boldly, her hand traveling down his chest and neck to press against the bulge in his jeans.

The air puffed from his mouth against her ear "bedroom," he gasped quietly before backing her up and leading the way. Once the door was closed she was on him again, pulling his undershirt over his head and pushing him to lay on the bed. He reached for his shoes and socks, and she took off her heals and he was back on his feet to unzip her dress and pull her onto the bed. The dress slid to the floor, but his eyes stayed on her face when he climbed on top of her.

They kissed again, her hands traveling over his muscular back and arms and the flat planes of his chest and stomach while his hands worked up her ribs to cup her through her bra. His arousal pressed against her thigh, and she moved her leg against it just to swallow his gasp.

He moved quicker after that, his eyes shining with need. He unclasped her bra and lowered his mouth to her nipple all in one movement. She moaned quietly, her fingers tangling in his hair as he bit down softly.

She craved more, flexing her hips up against his until his hand wiggled down between them and into her panties. His fingers slipped inside her, and he groaned into her skin when he felt she was already wet.

He toyed with her until he had her panting and pushing at his head to encourage him to move down lower. When he finally gave in, his head sinking lower as he worked her panties down her legs and let his tongue slip against her, she cried out quietly. Her hands tangled in his hair again, finding she loved holding it tightly. He added his fingers, moving at a slow pace until her hips flexed up in need of more. His free hand had his jeans opened and pushed half down his hips with his boxers- stroking his hardness desperately. "Will," she gasped, tugging on his locks to pull him back up. He followed her lead, allowing her to kiss him when they were eye level.

Her hand joined his around his cock and he let go, eyes falling closed and his head fell against her shoulder as she stroked. Eager for more, she pushed his jeans down until they were off and pressed her legs against both of his hips. He leaned over into the nightstand and sat back to roll on a condom, panting with urgency as he fell back on top of her and entered her quickly.

She gasped, raising her hips off the bed to meet his with his pace, his head tucked into her neck where she could feel him placing wet kisses. She scratched at his back in an attempt to make him move faster, before deciding to just press up and roll them over.

He went willingly, laying under her as she flattened herself against him and moved at her own pace. The new angle had her gasping against his neck, biting down on the soft skin until he was gasping for air.

"St-stop," the word came out choked but desperate, his body cringing back into the mattress suddenly. She leaned back to look down at him, but his eyes flickered around the room to avoid her eyes.

"It's alright," she shushed gently, her fingers finding his face to turn it towards her, "What's wrong?"

He shut his eyes tightly and swallowed, his tongue flickering out to lick his lips nervously. "I was gonna..."

The look of shame that crossed his face followed closely by embarrassment startled her, and she pressed a kiss to his lips, "Why are you upset by that?"

He was still rock hard inside her, and she resisted the urge to rock against him while he inhaled shakily, "I..I don't like losing control like that. I'm sorry, I just...I'm sorry. I haven't... done this in awhile, it was overwhelming for a second."

She slid off of him then, and he was quick to roll over on top of her and duck his head back down between her legs. It hardly lasted fifteen seconds before she was crying out his name and gripping his hair as tightly as she could as her orgasm pulsed through her. He kept his fingers buried in her as she clenched around them, feeling Will's forehead lean on her stomach.

As she came down from the bliss, she could hear him panting; feel his gasping breaths on her belly. She glanced down to see his hand working quickly between his legs. She let him, watching him as his body shuddered and he bit back the moan as his seed filled the condom. Her heart ached slightly again at the realization that he couldn't allow himself to come with anyone looking at his face. He couldn't share that moment with another person, and she stroked his hair while he gathered himself and slipped the condom off.

He was uncertain about laying with her, but she tugged his hand until he was cuddled up next to her in the dark room, his arms encaging her. They were silent for a while, before he finally spoke, "We won't do this again, don't worry. Please don't stop spending time with me, I'm sorry," she turned to him and hugged him to her.

"Don't be sorry, it was perfect, I want to do this again," she knew he could overcome it given the chance, she wouldn't turn him away like she had the first time.

"You're the best thing that's happened to me in so long," he whispered, pressing his lips into her shoulder.

She smiled slightly, "You're exactly what I never knew I needed."

**

I have no idea where this came from, it ran away from me and I had fun with it and expanded your prompt a ton....I'm sorry don't hate me.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually enjoyed this, so I contemplate writing a sequel? Or perhaps rewriting it from just Will's point of view? I don't know hehe


End file.
